


Healing Begins

by blynninja



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 13:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4626366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blynninja/pseuds/blynninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After chapter 90/92 of the manga. Yona helps Hak heal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healing Begins

_This is where the healing begins; this is where the healing starts;_  
_when you come to where you’re broken within…_  
-Healing Begins; Tenth Avenue North

\----

Physical wounds could heal; Yona knew that from personal experience.

She had watched Hak heal from unimaginable wounds in the last few months.

But until today, she hadn’t realized just how deeply his heart was wounded.

And that took time to heal.

_Please, God. Heal Hak’s wounds._

She had never seen that much rage in his movements, not even when they had set out from Fuuga and been attacked by Tae-jun and his soldiers.

Then he had been wild, certainly, but calculated and controlled in his protection of her. A bit of wildness had been necessary and even expected when so many arrows and soldiers were coming at them.

That day in Sensui with Soo-won had been a much more intense version of the fight the night her father had died, and while then she had watched helplessly, this time she had waited until Jae-ha and Kija stepped in to calm Hak down, keeping her voice as steady as possible as she assured him that she was fine.

But his eyes were still haunted, a sorrowful rage brimming every time she met his gaze, and it worried her. It worried her more than anything else he had ever said or done. Soo-won had been Yona’s first love, but he had also been Hak’s first friend (outside of herself) at the castle. To have such a close friend betray your trust so unexpectedly had to be almost as bad as seeing him murder your father.

_Please, God. Heal Hak’s wounds._

The wound in his arm was nothing, she knew. At least, nothing to him.

He had tried to take the firewood from her hands, and then had actually done it when she had broken down crying like a baby.

To be able to get right back into a routine of helping set up camp within days of a wound like that was … impressive. Almost inhuman.

But Yona was determined to keep him from straining his injured arm.

_Please, God, heal Hak’s wounds._

His heart was another story.

She couldn’t heal it the way Yoon could heal a flesh wound.

She knew because her heart still hadn’t fully healed from Soo-won’s betrayal.

She could understand why he had done what he had, but it still hurt to think about.

She could only imagine what Hak was feeling, the rage and the pain.

And Hak was a much more physical person than she was. When something was wrong, he wanted to fix it, and if that meant a fight, then so be it.

Yona didn’t process and heal that way, so she couldn’t quite understand it.

But she knew that she couldn’t have Soo-won dead at Hak’s hands. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

He was already the one rumored to have killed her father. She wouldn’t have Soo-won’s actual death on his hands, either.

_Please, God. Heal Hak’s wounds._

She tried to find practical ways of helping him begin to heal.

She made him sit and watch as she practiced with her bow or her sword, not practice with her as usual. His remarks were snarkier than usual, but she didn’t take it personally.

She insisted he use his other hand or let someone else feed him when meal times came. Several times she just did it herself, somehow keeping her hand steady despite her worries.

She smiled when he grumbled, sitting with him and watching the clouds or the stars to take his mind off of work or battles.

She kept the others from pestering him too much, and watched carefully as Yoon applied medicines and bandages to his wound so that she could do it if needed.

She resolutely avoided the topic of childhood, because even happy memories could bring up thoughts of Soo-won, and she wasn’t going to let him get angry over it again.

She changed the subject when Soo-won’s name did come up, setting a hand on his arm when he tensed at the mention of the castle or anything else Soo-won-related.

She listened as he ranted or seethed when he brought Soo-won up himself, gripping his uninjured arm to keep him from punching things.

She got Yoon to switch tents so that Hak wouldn’t lash out against the dragons again if he got angry during the night. She was better at calming him when he panicked than they were, she had discovered.

And sometimes, like now, she watched him twitch in his sleep, memories and angry thoughts causing him to make unusual noises and his hands to twitch like he was wielding his quandao.

She was never sure if she should wake him or let him finish the dream (or nightmare, as the case may be). Most nights she let him calm himself down, but tonight she found herself brushing his bangs from his face carefully.

“Hak,” she said gently, glancing at his wounded arm. He was moving so much she was afraid it was going to mess up his bandages or tear open the stitches that Yoon had so carefully reapplied earlier in the day.

“Hak,” she tried again, gripping his good hand firmly.

Hak jerked awake, gasping, and Yona kept hold of his hand, assuring him quietly, “It was just a dream. We’re fine.”

Hak stared at her, breathing hard for a few minutes, and squeezed her hand until she thought it would break, like he was reassuring himself that he was really awake.

Finally, he spoke, his voice quiet and strained as he said, “I can’t lose you.”

Yona frowned, scoffing back, “Well, _I_ can’t lose _you_ , either.”

She had said it before, and she would say it again, as many times as it took for him to understand.

“He killed you. In my dream.” Hak said haltingly, staring at her.

“He killed my father. And he tried to kill me,” Yona replied quietly, remembering the courtyard. “But you saved me.”

“I wanted to kill him.”

“I know,” Yona said softly, blinking away tears. That night, and in Sensui, she was sure he meant. “But I won’t forgive you if you do.”

Hak blinked, surprise on his face as he processed that.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t forgive me if I died,” he said quietly, frowning at her.

“Killing Soo-won would be a death sentence,” she shot back, glaring at him.

He stilled at that, staring at their hands, and sighed heavily.

“I can’t lose you,” he repeated, and she thought he was going to cry.

“You’ll just have to kill everybody else to keep me alive, then,” Yona sighed, hating the idea but knowing it might come to that.

“But not Soo-won,” she said quickly, firmly, as Hak glanced at her. 

“I’d rather you didn’t kill anyone, but I know sometimes it’s unavoidable. But—and this is an order, Hak,” she told him warningly, watching his eyes as she continued, “You are not allowed to kill Soo-won. I need him alive to see me retake the throne.”

Hak stared at her, processing her order.

Eventually he snorted, his hand twitching but not releasing hers.

“What?” Yona demanded, frowning.

Hak shook his head as he chuckled, but she pulled her hand from his grasp, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting at him.

“What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking about you being queen,” Hak replied quietly, and Yona froze.

That lilt in his voice was never a good thing and she steeled herself for a strange comment.

“What about it?”

Her voice shook despite her efforts and she swore at herself but kept her eyes on Hak.

He smiled funny at her, which made her nervous, and she almost backed away as he leaned a little closer, his gaze soft.

“You’re going to be a good queen, you know,” he said then, quietly, seriously, and Yona blinked.

That was not the comment she had been expecting. How was he so good at messing her up like that?

“You think so?” she asked quietly, looking away from him after a second even as his gaze stayed fixed on her.

“Mhm,” he hummed, and she knew he was smiling. She glanced up at him and flushed under the intensity in his eyes.

“After all,” Hak continued, “you’re Hiryuu. It’s your fate.”

She glanced up at the way he said “fate,” curious, because he had once said he didn’t really believe in prophecies or destiny.

He was smiling now, though, like he believed, and she wondered if the dragons had convinced him. They had come a long way since their awkward and dramatic first encounters, that was for sure, and probably the dragons had at least proven their strength and determination to his satisfaction several times over.

“Is it?” she breathed, more out of needing something to say than anything.

Hak nearly poked the tip of her nose with a finger, reminding her, “You were the one who wanted to find the dragons, knowing the legend so well. You didn’t make the connection between you and Hiryuu then?”

“Not really,” she admitted quietly, frowning.

“Hm,” Hak sighed, his voice certain as he said, “Well, now you know. Hiryuu was a good king, so you’re going to be a good queen.”

“How do you know, though?” Yona asked. “It can’t just be because I’m like Hiryuu.”

She glanced up to see Hak watching her thoughtfully, and he smiled as he replied, “Because you’ve been across your kingdom and seen it firsthand. Because you’ve met people who have changed you, for better or worse. Because you can command a bunch of monsters and we do as you ask because we know you know what you’re doing. Because you have learned to negotiate but also not back down on the things that truly matter. Because you’re no longer the princess that I began this journey with, lost and dead inside.”

There was so much sincerity in his tone that Yona was taken aback, and Hak continued, “Because you want to protect Kouka, not ruin it to build it back up. Because you are as compassionate as your father, but also as brave as Hiryuu was in protecting the people that he loved.”

He had reduced her to tears like this once before, in a cave in the rain, and she hadn’t known how to reply. Now she held his gaze, waiting for the switch that would tell her he was going back to teasing her.

But it didn’t come. Hak’s gaze stayed soft as she stared at him, again at a loss for words.

Yona pulled her gaze away from his, looking at the ground as she bit her lip and tried to hold back the tears, and Hak sighed, reaching out. His fingers were gentle as he brushed away tears, shoving her hands away when she tried to do it herself.

When the tears flowed faster and were impossible to keep up with, Hak pulled her into a hug and she curled her fingers into his chest, clinging for dear life.

She wasn’t even completely sure why she was crying. It was like there were multiple weights on her chest, each of them causing a new flood of tears.

There was the fact that Hak had brought up her father again, and even after all this time, the memory of that night made her heart break all over again.

There was the fact that he was being so sincere in his analysis of her, calling her things she never would have thought to describe herself.

There was the fact that he was still hurting from Soo-won’s decisions, and that made her heart hurt, too.

There was the fact that, despite his pain, he was able to put his feelings aside and comfort her, which was somehow tremendously heart-wrenching.

He cared for her so much—she could feel it—and it made her cry to think of it.

Eventually the tears stopped and she was left with sniffles. Hak didn’t let go of her right away, and she found that she was grateful for it.

When she finally did back away from him, Hak looked reluctant to let her go, but loosened his grip anyway.

“Thank you,” Yona whispered, squeezing his hand, and Hak blinked.

“For what?”

_Idiot._

“Everything.”

Hak watched her carefully, his gaze still soft, and she smiled up at him.

“I don’t deserve it, and yet you stay with me.”

“Oh,” he replied, grinning at her, “I don’t think you could ever get rid of me. I said I’d stick annoyingly close, didn’t I?”

Yona sighed, knowing he would keep bringing it up forever.

At least with him close, she could continue to help him heal.

\----

_Love is the power that heals._ -Awaken Love, The Song soundtrack

**Author's Note:**

> I could not for the life of me think of a better way to end this. Literally slapped a sentence in there.
> 
> Kind of an aside to the chapters, or a missing scene, AU to how the rest of the chapters go, of course. Call it what I wish would have happened.
> 
> The last episode of the anime says it’s been three months since they left Ik-su. I’m assuming Sensui isn’t that long after they come back to see Ik-su. So they’ve been gone less than a year? Maybe a year? Idk.
> 
> Head-canon-y. Also partly inspired by part of What I Saw in the Moonlight by LadyZeia.


End file.
